I have to admit: This first post is far more intimidating than I had expected, and maybe that’s why I have been putting it off since October. The idea of anyone, be it a stranger or someone I see or speak to on a daily basis, reading my thoughts? Well, it’s scary and liberating, all at once.
Everyone makes all these silly resolutions each year, and I’m sure they’re made with the best of intentions, but when that “new year feeling” fades away, they seem to end in slight disappointment, or maybe even a complete lack of remembrance. Either way, this is the first year in my entire life that I’ve resolved to do anything. And not only did I make resolutions, I made good ones. Life changing, fun, somewhat scary, honest resolutions that I want to see happen. Almost fifteen of them!
On New Year’s Eve, as I was heading out the door to bring in the new year with my best friend, Cate, I decided I would need to write my resolutions down on paper if I wanted any chance of succeeding at them. I laugh, just three days later, at the goal I first listed for 2012. I had made a promise to myself to be more open to the idea of dating, and hopefully develop a relationship in 2012. I’m sure this makes any single girl’s list each year, but to be uncomfortable in the skin you’re in and trying desperately to do something about it, it’s important to recognize not just that you may be lonely, but also that you need the confidence in yourself to go about meeting someone new. I have an incredibly difficult time with this. Quite frankly, if I don’t find myself attractive, in my mind, it’s not possible that anyone else could think so, either. So, in setting a goal that ultimately means relax, have fun, just be you, and trust in you, you’re beautiful, I can rationalize in my mind how this is a good goal.
Cate and I meet two guys after the ball drops; one of whom is a complete ass, but he’s not interested in me, anyway. The other, as it turns out, is a really good kisser, and we have quite a bit in common. We talked a little bit longer, about shared interests, holding hands and stealing kisses here and there, and when it was time to go, we exchanged numbers.
We went out on a date last night. We’re making plans for our next one, too. This entire resolution bit ain’t so bad after all!